Idolatry in Singleness

I have often considered in my walk how idolatry in singleness really played out in my life.  Now I’ve always at some point had a tendency to dwell and daydream of the man I’ve had my eye on and am certain God is going to move in his heart to recognise me as his wife, or someday becoming a blushing young bride, (well that dream is fast diminishing as I head into my late 40s), or caring for a loving husband and becoming an adoring attentive wife. 

I have been filled with such thoughts that have consumed my every waking hour.  I idolized the man I liked and the idea of being his wife.  And this has not just happened once but numerous times.

Idolatry in singleness is common among women, we like to day dream, plan our wedding, name the number of children we will have and how we are going to run our utterly perfect household.  All before he has even acknowledged our existence.

I had fallen into Sin

The first time I’d heard the word ‘idolatry’ was in my first year of becoming a Christian when a friend suggested I had fallen into idolatry when I did nothing but cry about a broken ungodly relationship. I had no idea what she meant but proceeded to look it up in the bible and an explanation in commentaries and on the internet.  I learnt that anything I held above God or anything that took the place of God being first in my heart was idolatry. Ex 20:3-6

I remember praying constantly for a husband I even at one point panicked I would end up as a lonely spinster with nothing but a cat for company.

But is our persistent prayer for a husband idolatry? No and let me tell you why. If we look at the bible in 1Samuel 1:1-20 we see Hannah a barren woman unable to bare children, she was reduced to tears and refused to eat, she was in deep anguish and sorrow, crying bitterly . Also the bible tells us to keep seeking, keep askin, keep knocking Matt 7:7-12

Hannah desperately desired to have a child and she persisted in her prayers to God crying bitterly to Him, and He heard her cry, her cries weren’t for a husband because she already had one, but if she was still single she would have been in an entirely different situation of crying to God for a husband just as those of us are. 

But it may be entirely different if our desire turns into an obsession, that’s where it becomes sin.  Has that desire consume you to the point of thinking of nothing else but your future spouse? Are you getting mad at God because he has not provided you with a husband yet?  Do you constantly take second looks at men when they are passing looking for someone that might fit the bill?  Is it your golden calf and you have placed Jesus second in your heart?  If you were never to marry would that totally turn your dreams upside down and would you feel life would not be worth living? 

If the answer is yes to any of those questions or you felt your heart wrench inside you as you read those words then you will have made an idol out of marriage.

Harsh reality I know but the truth is you have put marriage before God.  The fact is right now Jesus is your husband Isaiah 54:1-8 and until he give you to anoother we are to lay our desires of marriage at the altar before Him. 

This does not mean we give up on ever being married and stop praying but instead keep our hearts and our thoughts in check.  Ask God to forgive you and to turn your heart towards him.  Hannah went to the Lord and laid them at his feet.  If you meet a potential guy or gal that meets the spiritual standards and integrity, tell God and leave it with him, don’t day dream and fantasise about a life with them, keep your eyes on Jesus.