Deal Breakers

Why Do We Have Deal Breakers But Jesus Doesn't?

So what are deal Breakers? What is it that you would evaluate a person on and on that basis decide that person is not for me?

If you meet a woman/man that you really get on with, their kind, they love the Lord and it is evident as their walk is reflective of Christ, I mean they walk Christ they talk Christ and you know they are living their life as closely to their Saviour as they can.  

But……..they have bad B.O or they live at home with mom or they have some sort of illness like epilepsy which you would have to care for.  Would you be able to live with any of those issues with love and care or would they be a deal breaker for you.  What would you do?   

All of those issues are fixable and even if there not, God has a hold of every aspect of their life and is continually working in them. 

Sometimes it is God’s intention to bring us to our lowest point to perfect us and if we are truly walking in Christ we will go through points in our lives were we are broken and downtrodden and not so appealing to others, but God has us right where he wants us, at his feet. 

In fact be very careful of the people you meet who seem to tick all your boxes, has it all going on, ask yourself what is God doing in their life how is he breaking them?

I’ve heard of Christians who have either ended a relationship or not entertained going into one because the person is not in a ‘profession’ that is suitable.  So someone is a bookkeeper and not an accountant for example or they work a menial job.  That was a deal breaker for them.

What we need to have is a balance in how we would choose a spouse and have the grace to walk with their flaws by showing grace.  If you have deal -breakers such as not being with a woman who has children, not wanting a man who has no job or renting a room in a house, let us remember Jesus took many of us at our lowest point and loved us and made us more and more like him and God knows that takes time.

God can send you someone who loves Him but at the same time is broken with different issues that God is still perfecting but not yet perfected, just like you.

So ask yourself are you spiritually mature enough to help that person grow and work through their issues? 

A lot could be down to our own maturity so give that potential spouse a break, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Now I’m not saying you should chose a person that is not whole, if you are truly walking with God then He will not allow you to go ahead, but a person can be whole but has ‘annoyances’ that only you can’t accept.

Jacob wanted Racheal and not Leah, Leah had no sparkle in her eyes, meaning she was not attractive to him, but Racheal was beautiful and who he desired.  But God had purpose in Leah and used her to be in the bloodline of Jesus. Genesis 29. 

 Rahab was a prostitute and after helping the Israelites, married Salmon and became the mother of Boaz. Joshua 2, Math 1:5.  God will use even the most undesirable to accomplish his will.

Joseph was a slave so he had no statues, had no achievements and he was an ex prisoner, he found himself in a situation but God had purpose in that and used it for His glory.


Would you marry you?

Now let’s turn the tables…would you marry you?  Would you meet the all the expectations you require from someone else or do you have it all together?  Are the little quirks you have that would annoy other people?  Do you love Jesus the way  you want him to?  Have you ever made a mistake in your life that you are still paying the consequences for?  Do you have a child out of wedlock or a broken marriage?  Are you living at home due to circumstances beyond your control maybe a redundancy?  Or maybe you never had the opportunity to have a college education so you could become an accountant?  Life choices.  But God picked you up from the ashes and brought you into beauty.  But wait His beauty is not the same as our beauty.  God sees the beauty of His Son no matter what his circumstances.  God would see a tramp on the street who has put his faith in Him as beautiful but we see a person with flaws and a life not looking attractive as the World would see.