Raise your hands if you’ve been on a Christian date lately? Ahh quite a few of you, how did that go? And the rest of you who haven’t so much as sniffed the opposite sex since those pre Christ encounters, when was the last time you had a date? Errr I can’t remember either. Christian dating has to be the most complicated area of relationship in the church today one which can convey controversy on and off the pulpit.
First of all what is the right and wrong way of going about getting a Christian date? The thought process can be mind blowing, where do you start? Surely you’ve ditched those cheesy pickup lines you had in the club before coming to Christ.
The Christian dating scene is quite different for men than it is for women. As men should be doing the pursuing and we women get to do the waiting. First of all I’m assuming that men are pursuing the women in the first place. If as a women you’ve been sitting around waiting for that tap on the shoulder from a smiling male hunk sitting behind you in the pews but up until now that hasn’t happened, then what are we as single women to do?
Meeting a mate in church can be a challenge especially the older you get the slower the take up of suitors. There has been many reasons thrown around as to why Christian men are not approaching women in the church like the older the man gets the more set he is in his ways, or they are too afraid to make any advances towards a women for fear of rejection, or they just don’t know what to do in the church environment as they have not been shown how to make that sort of pursuit. One big obstacle is they just don’t know who to choose, they are so afraid of making the wrong choice so they make no choice at all and remain in their singleness year upon year.
Sitting in church and listening to the preacher tell you to wait on the Lord and get involved with ministry where your wife could be waiting is not exactly encouraging for any man to do anything but sit back and do nothing.
So men have become comfortable sitting and waiting and not doing much to find a wife. Proverbs 18:22
Over the past year I have seen a change in the way singles are taking action to address the lack of activity in finding and marring a Christian partner. Singles are now creating their own Christian dating arenas and starting Singles Ministries in their churches and even networking with other churches with singles ministries, creating opportunities for themselves to meet and mingle with each other with the intention of finding a mate.
So why now after all these years of waiting on God are singles defying the pulpit and no longer waiting but being active in finding a mate? I know a lot of us have been praying and crying out to the Lord for many many years and feel now is the time to wake up and be active.
I don’t believe it is God’s intention for us as singles to be single as long as we have, one of the first things God gave Adam was a help mate. I believe we are to continue to seek after him and trust Him in our singleness by prayerfully asking, seeking and knocking in our active pursuits, but if you do feel the Lord is showing you to wait, then wait, but ultimately pray and ask God how you can be more active. I do believe our singleness is more a product of our environment and our modern way of life as we educate ourselves, have well paid jobs and seek after the ‘finer’ things in life. When we were in the world we could have all of that and sinful sexual relationships without getting married, but if we as Christians have been living a Christian lifestyle why do we have so many singles who desire to married sitting and waiting? I believe the teachings we receive has a lot to contribute to that as we are not encouraged to find mates but instead be inactive and discouraged in our pursuits by waiting on God. Now if God wants you to wait He will tell you as you seek Him in prayer and read His word. Waiting may not be a blanket command for every Christian single .